Kids are Spoiled. Do they Know Sacrifice?

English: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, m...

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich

August 1982 my brother and I packed up our pick up truck and I left home for the first time to go to college at Washington State University. We arrived on campus 3 days before the dormitories opened. For two nights I slept on the golf course. It wasn’t so bad, at first. It’s pretty warm, even at night, in August, in Pullman. A dorm administrator took pity on me when I went to visit my soon-to-be home, and let me in to register one day before anyone else in the building. What little money I had was being saved for my books;  and the only thing I had to eat those two days were a couple of peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches and carrots I’d packed with me when I left my Mom’s house. I have never been hungrier in my life then when they finally opened the dormitory’s cafeteria three days after I had arrived on campus.

I made the decision to arrive on campus three days early in order to find a job before all the other students arrived. It worked. I was hired to work in the dormitory cafeteria. It was a job that barely paid my living expenses during my time in school. I wonder how many kids today would make such a sacrifice today.

Years later after leaving college, attending and graduating from a broadcasting-vocational school I was hired for my first radio job in a little town called Raymond. It paid me only $600 per month and I was paid only once per month. During the one year I held this job I lived on my own. I had no phone because I couldn’t afford it.

Beef Top Ramen Contents

Obviously there was no internet back then, so I had virtually no contact with my old friends and family. I lived on Cheerios, Top Ramen, and Mac & Cheese.

Tesco now carrying Kraft Macaroni and Cheese!!...

Having meat of any kind was maybe a once a week treat. Months later the first time I returned home my Mom cried when she first saw me saying, “You’re so skinny!”. During this time I sold all of my ski equipment to pay for food and rent. I was very lonely. I went to sleep by myself listening to one of the only 3 radio stations that could be picked up in far-away Raymond. Dave Niehaus was my Summer-time pal as I drifted to sleep in my room, in the dark, listening to Mariner games from far away.

A box of Cheerios breakfast cereal.

I made the decision to work in this low paying job in this tiny far-away town because I wanted to work in radio and they gave this squeaky voiced 21-year old a chance. After they agreed to let me be the broadcast voice of the high school football and basketball games I know I couldn’t refuse. It was a tough year, but I was living a dream come true. I wonder how many young adults would make the same decision in order to reach for their dreams.

It was a few years later when I was working as News Director of an AM/FM radio station in Moses Lake, WA when I was asked to make another huge sacrifice. I was 24 years old and had moved up in income and stature in the radio business and was truly on my way to making a career. But my life had taken on the responsibility of two others. I was now married and my wife and I had a baby daughter. During one of her weekend trips home to Seattle my wife had been offered a good paying job at a Seattle TV station. It was for more money than she and I could make combined in Eastern Washington. Though my resume was still pretty sparse and I wasn’t confident in my ability to get a job in the big market of Seattle I quit my job and moved back to Western Washington. The three of us lived in my in-laws basement for about 4-5 months until I could find work. When I finally did get a job it wasn’t in Seattle. It was at a radio station in Mt. Vernon, WA. We got an apartment in Lynnwood and for nearly 2 years I commuted North, while my wife commuted South.

I made the decision to derail my private career path in order to help build a better life for my family and to cure my wife’s home-sickness for her family and the city in which she grew up. Though I loved Eastern Washington and really liked my job and my career trajectory it wasn’t a hard decision. I knew it would make my wife happy. I wonder if today’s young people know to make similar sacrifices on behalf of the spouse to whom they promised a life together.

One of the most selfish things I ever did was start my own company. I left a job in which I had struggled to build an income that had grown to 6-figures. It had taken 13 years. Upon leaving the job I was faced with zero income, and no immediate clients. My family, which was now a family of five, had to learn to do without a lot of things to which we’d become accustomed. It took a couple of years of sacrifice before my company brought my income back toward previous levels.

I made the decision to start my own business because I knew I didn’t want to work for someone else the rest of my life and knew that I wouldn’t be able to leave anything behind for my kids when my time came to an end. I also wanted to give my wife the opportunity to get back to doing what she loved, radio voice work. She’d moved away from her talent in favor of jobs that paid well and provided a security the radio industry never has. She is now our primary voice talent for Total Broadcasting Serviceofficial-logo-jpeg-document-size.jpg

My life has never been easy. My parents were lower-middle-income at best, poor at worst, and never provided me with anything outside of the bare necessities. After graduating high school they determined that I was a man and they never provided me anything else, ever. I know others have had it a lot tougher than what I have. Nevertheless, I’m proud of building a life that has allowed me to raise my kids and be happy; to enjoy some niceties.

They say 26 is the new 21. The same as 21 used to be the new 19. Twenty-six is now the age in which kids are becoming adults. Twenty-seven is the age Obamacare no longer allows parents to keep their “kids” on their health insurance plan. And 27 is now the average age in which guys and gals get married for the first time.

I think its sad. Kids have there colleges paid for by either their parents or by our overly generous (and broke) Federal Government. If they get work they expect a middle income lifestyle right away. Too many don’t seem to have any respect for authority. They believe every night is Saturday night. And I wonder if todays kids even know what sacrifice really means.

Thanks for visiting. Comments are welcome.

Take Responsibility! Your Kid is Fat. It’s YOUR Fault.

What scientists call "Overweight" ch...

Personal responsibility is a character trait increasingly hard to find in people of this country. The people of the United States have completely fallen for our “leader’s” efforts to “help” you every time an accident happens, or a negative trend is discovered, or a problem occurs. It’s always someone else’s fault.

A growing and popular topic of discussion in this country is childhood obesity; a problem so pervasive and threatening that we could be raising the first generation ever to have a shorter life expectancy. It’s a war that has drawn the attention of former President Bill Clinton, current First Lady Michelle Obama, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg and many others. It’s a serious problem. But if you want to find who or what’s responsible for your child’s heft…go no further than the nearest mirror.

CBS News reported yesterday that a key drug used for adults with Type 2 diabetes, Metformin, was largely ineffective in treating children with Type 2 diabetes. The drug is supposed to help control sugar levels in blood. Obesity is a leading cause of Type 2 diabetes in kids and adults. Since 1980 obesity in children has almost tripled, to over 12.5-million. In the CBS report the studies Director says “If we can prevent them (children) from getting diabetes that would be far preferable than being in a position of treating it.” Doctor Robin Goland correctly points out that historically kids didn’t get Type 2 diabetes. When, and if a child got diabetes it was Type 1, which has little or nothing to do with obesity. Diabetes creates a host of medical problems including poor circulation, blindness, and kidney disease.

In related news a new study reported on by the New York Times discloses that the claims of urban residents around our country being nutritionally disadvantaged because of a lack of stores providing fresh fruits and vegetables is an urban myth, not urban desert. The urban food desert myth was given lots of credibility by…wait for it…First Lady Michelle Obama.

First Lady Michelle Obama

First Lady Michelle Obama (Photo credit: West Point Public Affairs)

I for one am glad Mrs. Obama cares for us all and emphasizes healthy eating and physical activity. It would just be more helpful if she knew what she was talking about. The article in the NY Times reports that two recent studies have been done about the supposed lack of nutritional foods in poor urban environments, “But two new studies have found something unexpected. Such neighborhoods not only have more fast food restaurants and convenience stores than more affluent ones, but more grocery stores, supermarkets and full-service restaurants, too.” So with availability no longer an issue who’s to blame for kids lack of proper diet and their subsequent obesity? Here’s a hint…they got their money for that McDonald’s Super Sized Bic Mac Meal from Mom or Dad, same as yesterday, and the day before and the day before that.

City Road McDonalds The famous golden arches b...

And lets stop blaming McDonald’s and other fast food establishments for our kids being fat. As Bill Wittle explained in a video blog we posted a couple of weeks ago called, Why It Sucks to Be Conservative, all McDonald’s does is open up for business. It’s something they have been doing with largely the same menu for sixty years. Remember when we were kids and Mom and Dad took us to McDonald’s? It was special and exciting? Why? Because it didn’t happen all that often. For me if I got McDonald’s food twice in a month I was fortunate. Now, it’s not unusual for many families to visit the drive-thru two-three-four times per week. We can’t do that to our kids and not have them suffer the ill effects. Let me remind you, they don’t have the money or the car to take them to McDonald’s. You do. You are also the one whose responsibility it is to say NO when the kids ask. Grow a backbone and do so.

Years ago I heard a news report on the radio in which the anchor told the listeners of a study, a multi-million dollar study that concluded obese people were obese because they ate more than the rest of us. Do we really need a study to come to this conclusion?

Used to be a common refrain from social critics was “how much time kids spent in front of the tv”. Well, I don’t hear that too often anymore, though I suspect its more of a concern. Between sitting in front of a tv show, video games and computers your kids are probably more inactive than they used to be. Combine that with the fear of letting them out of your sight and your kids are zombies compared to our youth. And we watched tons of TV, didn’t we? Telling your kids to “go outside and play” may seem like a punishment to them, sometimes. But you are doing them a big favor.

In this as in most all things your Mom or Dad were right when they told you “all things in moderation”. I personally don’t have a problem with buying my kids “junk” food, any kind of junk food. But eaten in moderation it’s not going to kill your kids. Too much of a “good” thing definitely will. And I certainly don’t mind being the bad guy (when my kids were younger) and telling them to go outside and play. The life you create for them through a little more attention being paid to the things you limit will be so much more healthy and full filling and they’ll be thankful too.

Thanks for visiting. Comments are welcome.

25 Years Since My Life Began…and A Lot Has Changed.

This Holy week is particularly special because I will be passing a milestone of tremendous significance to me. April 3, 1987 was the last day I spent in my life as an unmarried man. Put another way, my 25th wedding anniversary is April 4th.

I won’t bore you in this blog telling you how I love my wife, I do. Or how scared I was that wonderful day, I was terrified. It’s not necessary for me to wax-on about the many happy times we’ve spent, there are plenty. And I need not tell you of the commitment required from a man and a woman to stay married this long and however many more years we’re fortunate enough to enjoy together, total commitment.

But my reflective nature did think it was important to write about a significant change that has occurred in the last twenty-five years. Most notable is the fact that my marriage exists at all, and that no one (seemingly) has a problem with that. My wife is black, I am white. And this fact is nearly meaningless today.

This was not the case when we exchanged vows in Seattle, WA in 1987. We were a rarity. And we were a controversial rarity. My Dad was not shy in expressing his opposition to my marriage specifically and to interracial marriage in general. He told me. And in one sad and pathetic and somewhat funny telephone conversation he told my soon to be Mother-in-law. My Dad later claimed to have had too much to drink one night a couple of months before the wedding date when my would-be Mother-in-law called him on the phone to invite him to take a more active role in planning the wedding of her daughter to his son. As was told to me later he told her he was not interested in participating, or even attending the wedding. As the story goes he proceeded to clumsily explain to her the few times in his life where he felt he’d been “hurt” or “damaged” by people who were black. My Mother-in-law, being a strong and smart woman, quietly listened. And when he had finished his pathetic little rant she calmly asked, “Now, would you like to hear all the times white people had “hurt” me?” Having been born in Alabama in 1940 it didn’t take a PHd in Sociology to figure her list was long and severely more substantial than whatever my Bellingham, WA born Father was able to muster. He sheepishly declined to hear her tales. And he did attend our wedding. Though he told no one in advance that he would do so, and when my bride and I first became aware of his presence at our reception it was a pleasant surprise. He was one of the very few of my family members to attend. The cousins I grew up with and celebrated every Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July and other holiday’s and special events didn’t come or send gifts or cards. My Nana, my Dad’s mother, likewise failed to come or acknowledge our wedding. One of my two Aunt’s, one of my Uncles; none attended my wedding or acknowledged it in any way.

It hurt my heart that people who raised me and loved me had such unprincipled views toward the issue of race and family. But it was a stance from which society allowed them to feel comfortable. Even in the 1980s I felt the discomfort, the staring eyes, the unwelcome attitudes, the bias from others because I was with a woman whose skin was darker than mine. It remained an issue years into our marriage. I still remember how offended I was at a news teaser from KING 5 News Anchor Jean Enerson in which she announced a feature story upcoming for the 5 o’clock news by say, “Interracial Marriages!!! Tune in at 5 o’clock for the inside story on these increasingly popular HOT couples.” Hot couples? This was about 1996 when my bride of 9 years and I were living in predominantly white Redmond, WA raising two kids, trying to pay a mortgage, driving to school and family events on a nightly basis…I didn’t feel particularly HOT. I felt like any other couple getting along in this world. And yet, Seattle’s leading TV news agency felt the make-up of my marriage was striking enough to feature it in their prime newscast and to characterize it as “HOT”? Really? Over 30 years from the signing of the Civil Rights Act? It was nearly 30 years since

William Shatner as Kirk in a promotional photo...

William Shatner as James T. Kirk kissed Nichelle Nichols playing Lt. Uhura in TV’s Star Trek;

Nichols as Lieutenant Uhura.

marking the first time in television history that a white person kissed a black person.

According to a 2010 CNN report interracial marriages were at an all-time high making up 14.6% of all newly married couples. That’s up from 6.8% in 1980. The report does not distinguish what races or ethnicities make up the interracial couples. A report in the New York Times from just 1 year ago says of every 1000 marriages white men marry black women only 3 times, versus 19 Hispanic women, 14 Asian, and 947 white women. So even now we remain an oddity. But fortunately, a much more accepted oddity.

It’s fair to say that some people have a predisposition attraction to people of a certain race, and at times a different race. That’s fine; and I find no fault with such predispositions. It just doesn’t apply to me. I wasn’t then, and am not now particularly attracted to black women. I am predisposed to be attracted to attractive women, no matter their race or ethnicity. Such is and was the case with my beautiful wife. I didn’t marry her because she was black. I also didn’t marry her because she is attractive, though she is. I married her because she laughed at my jokes, and because I thought she was one of the most genuinely kind people I’d ever met. She still is.

While interracial couples are far less an issue today than they were in the 1980′s, I’m proud my marriage served as one small example of how unimportant race is in the living and loving of people. In 1996 my brother married a woman of Philippine decent. My Dad was all over their wedding, ingraining himself in seemingly every aspect of it. Some time after that occasion I asked my Dad why he was so involved in my brother’s wedding and so uninvolved in mine; why was it OK for my brother to marry a darker skinned Philippino but it wasn’t OK for me to marry a black woman? He answered in the best way he possibly could. He said, “You were Jackie Robinson. You showed that it was OK.”

Thanks for visiting. Comments are welcome.

Me and my Bride- as kids

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