Uncommon Friends and What You Can Do Together

uncommon-friends-life-with-thomas-edison-henry-ford-james-d-newton-paperback-cover-art

A book I have yet to read and has long been on my GET list is called Uncommon Friends: Life with Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, Alexis Carrel and Charles Lindbergh. It is a 1987 publication that tells the story of the close life-long friendship that existed between these five extraordinarily accomplished men as well as James Newton the book’s author.

It has long been my belief that if you surround yourself with enough good people and discard the folks in your life who have a negative influence on you, you can’t help but be successful. These five men written about in Uncommon Friends could hardly be higher in achievement. Ford, Lindbergh, and Edison need no introduction to anyone educated beyond the 6th grade. Alexis Carrel and Harvey Firestone are less familiar historical figures, but nonetheless accomplished. Alexis Carrel was a French surgeon and biologist who was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine in 1912 for pioneering vascular suturing techniques.  Harvey Samuel Firestone was an American businessman, and the founder of the Firestone Tire and Rubber Company, one of the first global makers of automobile tires, and early investor in Henry Ford’s Ford Motor Company. These men set high goals for themselves and met regularly through life to discuss how to accomplish them.

It’s not an uncommon thing to have friends who together and/or separately accomplish great things. I believe it’s not unlike a leaf on the water being caught up in the wake of a fast-moving rowboat or canoe and subsequently moving along the surface of the water at the same speed as the boat…at least for a moment. I frequently take my canoe to nearby lakes where I fish; though, rather than a leaf I’m far more familiar with a lily pad getting caught…not in my wake…but in my fishing line.

My family is blessed to have several extraordinary people, who have impressive, even great accomplishments on their resume’s. For a middle-aged guy, with a middle-income life, from a lower middle-income single parent upbringing my connections to greatness or near greatness are, I believe, unusual. My brother, just one year older than I, is a millionaire several times over. He travels the world. He sets up companies for public stock offerings hopping from company to company collecting stocks and equity as he goes. My sister-in-law is an attorney at Microsoft. She’s educated at Cal-Berkley. And has made quite a name for herself in Seattle philanthropic circles. My father-in-law, George Fleming, is a University of Washington legend. He was awarded MVP of the 1961 Rose Bowl while leading the Huskies to a surprise victory over then Number 1 rated Wisconsin. He followed that with a 25 year career in the Washington State Legislature.

But despite my family connections and their accomplishments my wife and I are not unlike most people. We are on our own. And while grateful for all the support and help we’ve received over our 25 year marriage, what we have accomplished or failed to accomplish comes strictly from our own efforts. We’ve never hitched our wagon to another high-flyer and joined them for the ride.

I thought of the connection between high achievers recently since I had a difficult decision to make. My wife and I got into the direct-sales industry through an incredible company called, AdvoCare, only 4-5 months prior to this writing. We did so after first enjoying the benefits of using the AdvoCare nutritional products. They were fantastic and literally changed my life and the life of my wife. Our health has not been so good since decades before. In determining that we would try representing AdvoCare we agreed to give it 3-6 months of effort. If the company, the products and the income were worth continued effort after that then we’d certainly give it.

A trip to AdvoCare Success School in Dallas, Texas in mid-February is fast approaching. Finances are tight. And if I am to go to Success School I’d first have to determine, in conjunction with my wife, that we did want to continue working AdvoCare as a business. And secondly, I’d have to figure out how to pay for the trip. Because though my company, Total Broadcasting Service, is and has always been profitable in its 8 years and my wife makes a good living outside of our company, the economy of 2009-2011 impacted us to the tune of high credit card debts. And catching up is tough. A trip to Dallas and two-day hotel stay would just mean more credit card debt.

We made the decision to go, to make the trip, to incur the debt and to continue to help people by introducing more and more of them to AdvoCare, in part because of my belief in our friends who got us into AdvoCare. (I’m not sure they’d want me to use their name’s publicly here. So I won’t. But contact me and I’ll tell you all about them) My friend, to whom I refer is someone I’ve known since shortly after he got out of college. In age, he’s about 10 years my junior. I worked with him for several years at the same company. I only met his wife in the past year. But it’s clear that she, like him is special. And I intend to benefit from the association. I intend to be taken up in their wake and pretty soon make my own wake.

My wife and I live what most would term an upper middle class lifestyle. But we can do a lot better. By better I mean more income, more vacation time, more money to help our grown kids, more time and money to help and care for more people, and a freedom to do things we cannot currently envision. My friend may not be Thomas Edison or Henry Ford or Charles Lindbergh. But then again. He might be. And if he is I intend to gain from it.

Some cliche`s come to mind: Familiarity breeds contempt. And A prophet is never known in his own land. Too often we allow familiarity to blind us to a person’s true greatness and thus deny ourselves of that which is great about a person because we know what aspects about them or their history aren’t great. When you do so you only hurt yourself.

Thanks for listening. Comments are welcome.

Your Closest Friends and Family Will Not Support You. Why?

When I entered into the world of direct sales, or Multi-level marketing, by becoming an Advisor for AdvoCare  a few short months ago my friend and up-line (MLM term referring to the person who signed you up) said something totally out of their character. He said not to be surprised if your closest friends and family do not go along with your offering. He said in most cases this would prove to be true. I thought how strange to hear this coming from a guy who is one of the happiest most-positive individuals you will ever come across. And…I thought him wrong.

Turns out he was right. My friend and his lovely wife have built a business with AdvoCare that pays them $20,000 per month on average. And their business is growing. They expect to be making $40,000 per month within a year. And they’ve done all this in only three years, on their own. He points out that his Best Friend from 3 years ago STILL hasn’t come on board as a distributor. To my understanding (I could be wrong) neither have his closest family members including his sister, who I also know and have worked with. My up-line has over 1200 people signed-up as AdvoCare Distributors or Advisors. Remarkable!

English: A simple binary tree diagram illustra...

A simple binary tree diagram illustrating the hierarchical structure of a multi-level marketing compensation plan.

And yet here’s what I found. MY BEST FRIEND, who could stand to greatly benefit from the weight loss and nutrition AdvoCare products provide, not only hasn’t joined me. He won’t even listen. He hasn’t a clue what AdvoCare is or provides. And I’m his best friend, and he’s mine. Remarkable. The list of those close to me who won’t listen to anything my wife and I have to say about this company that has us so excited doesn’t stop with my best friend. My immediate neighbors and business partner in my video production company, Total Broadcasting Servicelikewise will not only not sign up as our customers or distributors…they won’t even hear a presentation. Remarkable!

English: A picture of Atlanta Motor Speedway t...

A picture of Atlanta Motor Speedway where the annual Labor Day Weekend AdvoCare 500 takes place.

And yet it turns out…not so remarkable. In a blog entitled “Why Friends and Family Members Won’t Support the New You”  business coach Ray Higdon spells out some of his ideas why this phenomena is so common. He says , in so many words, that those closest to you won’t support you because they’re used to who you “used to be” and can’t fathom you being different, in the mode of a marketer or successful person. He also intimates jealousy plays a part. They don’t want you to be successful because it will reflect poorly on them.                        I’m not sure about all of Higdon’s assertions. Direct-Sales companies face skepticism from everyone already, not just friends and family. It’s my job, and yours, to find people who you can help either with your products and service or with the income opportunity from the MLM, or both. There really are people who want to be their own boss and are disciplined enough to work a business as a business, and grow it, slowly at times, but grow it nonetheless. If you’re looking for a get-rich quick scheme most of the time you’ll be disappointed.                                                                                                                                    In this rather poor quality video Russ Howe, a network marketer with GDI, Global Domains International, actually says approaching friends and family about your business is actually a BAD IDEA:

Higdon correctly points out that your success can and will be determined by you going out and meeting and selling to new people. Which has proven to be true with me. In the approximately 3 months that I have actively represented AdvoCare 35% of the folks I’ve gotten involved with AdvoCare on a retail customer or distributor level I had virtually no previous or extremely limited contact with.  Another 53% I only had tangent contact with; which is to say periodic and infrequent. And the remaining 12% I was relatively close to and contacted with some frequency. And all this while working AdvoCare as a business very seldom. While only putting in 5-10 hours per week training myself, email corresponding, meeting in-person, and making phone calls I’ve managed a small income that has already proven valuable to my family. And since this has been done over a mere three months and with little actual time devoted I have every reason to believe the actual amount of return from this business will grow.

I find it remarkable that those who know you best are least likely to support you and your new business. You would think just the opposite were true. But facts are facts. Don’t let your friends or family drag you down. And realize it’s not personal and its not unusual and lots of folks, like my friend and sponsor, move past the disappointment of friends and family not participating in your new exciting business and go get those new friends who really do want to live well and independent.

I’m really curious to hear from other MLM representatives and tell me what your experience has been on this subject.

Private side note to any friend or family of mine: Yes, you not helping me and my wife build our business and enjoying what we have clearly benefited from DOES disappoint me. But it is what it is. Own it. It’s your decision. Meanwhile, I still love you. Period. 

Thanks for visiting. Comments are welcome.

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