Your Closest Friends and Family Will Not Support You. Why?

When I entered into the world of direct sales, or Multi-level marketing, by becoming an Advisor for AdvoCare  a few short months ago my friend and up-line (MLM term referring to the person who signed you up) said something totally out of their character. He said not to be surprised if your closest friends and family do not go along with your offering. He said in most cases this would prove to be true. I thought how strange to hear this coming from a guy who is one of the happiest most-positive individuals you will ever come across. And…I thought him wrong.

Turns out he was right. My friend and his lovely wife have built a business with AdvoCare that pays them $20,000 per month on average. And their business is growing. They expect to be making $40,000 per month within a year. And they’ve done all this in only three years, on their own. He points out that his Best Friend from 3 years ago STILL hasn’t come on board as a distributor. To my understanding (I could be wrong) neither have his closest family members including his sister, who I also know and have worked with. My up-line has over 1200 people signed-up as AdvoCare Distributors or Advisors. Remarkable!

English: A simple binary tree diagram illustra...

A simple binary tree diagram illustrating the hierarchical structure of a multi-level marketing compensation plan.

And yet here’s what I found. MY BEST FRIEND, who could stand to greatly benefit from the weight loss and nutrition AdvoCare products provide, not only hasn’t joined me. He won’t even listen. He hasn’t a clue what AdvoCare is or provides. And I’m his best friend, and he’s mine. Remarkable. The list of those close to me who won’t listen to anything my wife and I have to say about this company that has us so excited doesn’t stop with my best friend. My immediate neighbors and business partner in my video production company, Total Broadcasting Servicelikewise will not only not sign up as our customers or distributors…they won’t even hear a presentation. Remarkable!

English: A picture of Atlanta Motor Speedway t...

A picture of Atlanta Motor Speedway where the annual Labor Day Weekend AdvoCare 500 takes place.

And yet it turns out…not so remarkable. In a blog entitled “Why Friends and Family Members Won’t Support the New You”  business coach Ray Higdon spells out some of his ideas why this phenomena is so common. He says , in so many words, that those closest to you won’t support you because they’re used to who you “used to be” and can’t fathom you being different, in the mode of a marketer or successful person. He also intimates jealousy plays a part. They don’t want you to be successful because it will reflect poorly on them.                        I’m not sure about all of Higdon’s assertions. Direct-Sales companies face skepticism from everyone already, not just friends and family. It’s my job, and yours, to find people who you can help either with your products and service or with the income opportunity from the MLM, or both. There really are people who want to be their own boss and are disciplined enough to work a business as a business, and grow it, slowly at times, but grow it nonetheless. If you’re looking for a get-rich quick scheme most of the time you’ll be disappointed.                                                                                                                                    In this rather poor quality video Russ Howe, a network marketer with GDI, Global Domains International, actually says approaching friends and family about your business is actually a BAD IDEA:

Higdon correctly points out that your success can and will be determined by you going out and meeting and selling to new people. Which has proven to be true with me. In the approximately 3 months that I have actively represented AdvoCare 35% of the folks I’ve gotten involved with AdvoCare on a retail customer or distributor level I had virtually no previous or extremely limited contact with.  Another 53% I only had tangent contact with; which is to say periodic and infrequent. And the remaining 12% I was relatively close to and contacted with some frequency. And all this while working AdvoCare as a business very seldom. While only putting in 5-10 hours per week training myself, email corresponding, meeting in-person, and making phone calls I’ve managed a small income that has already proven valuable to my family. And since this has been done over a mere three months and with little actual time devoted I have every reason to believe the actual amount of return from this business will grow.

I find it remarkable that those who know you best are least likely to support you and your new business. You would think just the opposite were true. But facts are facts. Don’t let your friends or family drag you down. And realize it’s not personal and its not unusual and lots of folks, like my friend and sponsor, move past the disappointment of friends and family not participating in your new exciting business and go get those new friends who really do want to live well and independent.

I’m really curious to hear from other MLM representatives and tell me what your experience has been on this subject.

Private side note to any friend or family of mine: Yes, you not helping me and my wife build our business and enjoying what we have clearly benefited from DOES disappoint me. But it is what it is. Own it. It’s your decision. Meanwhile, I still love you. Period. 

Thanks for visiting. Comments are welcome.

Go Ahead Make Fun of MLM & Direct Sales. I Did.

Português do Brasil: Representação gráfica do ...

MLM or Multi-Level Marketing companies are a joke. But if that’s true, why are there 30-million Americans (1/10th of the country) involved in a Network Marketing Company?

Direct Sales companies don’t make you any money. But if that’s true how do you explain the checks I’ve been receiving for the two months I’ve been representing AdvoCare? Or the $20,000 per month a friend and his wife earn through Advocare in only three years representing this great company? And how do you explain the $153-billion spent on products and services provided by network marketing companies?

Like anything in life, its all what you put into it. AdvoCare or any MLM with a good product pays well to those who work and represent the products. To those who don’t, it doesn’t.

I’m a living example of getting out of work exactly what you put into work. In 1992 I began working in a sales job in my chosen industry of radio. I did OK for a couple of years and was pleased with myself. But others within my own office were doing better. I looked at most of them and said “What have they got that I don’t? Why can’t I sell as much and earn as much as them?”

So began my investment in myself. I spent thousands of dollars of my own money over the next few years on all kinds of seminars, books, videos and audio tapes with the goal of improving my sales ability and my income and my family’s lifestyle. Sales trainers like Brian Tracy, Tom Hopkins, Dr. Kerry Johnson and motivational speakers like Zig Ziglar

Live video feed of Zig Ziglar speaking at the ...

Zig Ziglar

became my mentors. It worked. In only 2-3 years I went from being an OK sales representative and among the top ten in my company to number one in my company. I regularly broke sales records for a 25 year old company that regularly employed around 40 sales reps. My sales were consistently 15-20% ahead of whoever was in second place. My income tripled. My family bought a 3000-square foot home in one of the more expensive suburbs in the country. And, after 13 years at that company I left it and started my own business, Total Broadcasting Service, and have been successful with it for 8 years (in spite of one of the worst economic downturns in U.S. history). I couldn’t have achieved any of this had I not put in the time to train myself and bring my sales from OK to OUTSTANDING.

The other day I posted a link on Facebook to my AdvoCare website, something I do periodically. A bold former “friend” made a particularly nasty, negative comment about MLM’s and me posting about my involvement with them and posting on FB about a direct sales company he clearly had no knowledge of. Given I really didn’t know the guy and only connected on FB because of a single mutual connection, he made it real easy for me to unfriend him. Who needs that kind of negativity?

But in making his Comment he also did me a favor. He reminded me of an attitude that exists in the eyes of many about direct sales companies like AdvoCare. He reminded me of how I felt about MLM’s. And if you are skeptical and even cynical toward AdvoCare and other multi-level marketing companies its OK to admit it. I was the same way. But if you can admit your cynism perhaps you can also admit you really don’t know much about the subject of MLM’s in general, or AdvoCare specifically. I didn’t.

I grew up watching my Mom chase the pot of gold under every rainbow that ever appeared. She was part of all kinds of MLM’s over many years, including the BIG one, Amway. Her failure to devote time and stay dedicated to any of these businesses ultimately guaranteed that she would never be successful with them. Her failures became my reality. Perhaps you are like me…I knew someone once who tried something like that and it didn’t work. Perhaps you can be fair and admit that “someone” didn’t tell you much. “Someone” didn’t stay with “it” long. “Someone” didn’t put in a lot of time toward their business during the short time they “tried” it. And “someone” got exactly out of their business everything that they put into it.

My wife and I became AdvoCare distributors because we tried their products and each lost 30 pounds of fat in 3 months. We became distributors because we saw our friend and his wife leave the “regular” work world and begin raising their kids with a healthy income and a freedom we could only envy. We became distributors to find three other families who wanted to join us in earning $5000-$10,000 per month while working less than 20 hours per week.

Let me educate you about a few things you may not know about network marketing companies. They’ve been highly successful in this country for at least 150-years. One of the early successes was the California Perfume Company which began in New York in 1890 with 10,000 sales representatives and later changed their name to Avon. 

Español: Logotipo de la empresa estadounidense...

The Fuller Brush Company began selling their products in 1905 and by 1919 had made over $1-million in sales. Fuller Brush and its business model spurred the creation of other companies you may have heard of including Stanley Home Products and Mary Kay Cosmetics which began operations in 1963 and was already selling $2-BILLION in products by 1996.

Tupperware became a world-wide billion dollar company through the direct sales method, and in so doing they became a name synonymous with all plastic air tight food and beverage containers.

And Amway grew out of the Nutrilite vitamin supplement company in 1949. By 1973 Amway had over-taken Nutrilite, and bought the company. Amway’s bad name, in the eyes of many, began when the Federal Trade Commission filed suite in 1975 against the company accusing them of being a pyramid scheme. By 1979 a Federal judge had ruled in favor of Amway. But unfortunately the “pyramid” tag stuck (as do so many false accusations but not exonerations). Still it didn’t prevent Amway from growing into a company with $11-BILLION in sales in 2011.

So with all these success stories I gotta ask just how do you mean “They don’t work”? Are you afraid of success? Certainly some people are, and that comes down to self-esteem issues we won’t get into in this blog.

But, again, with huge, immensely successful company’s like AdvoCare helping people achieve financial freedom all over this great country why not ask yourself to re-examine your own prejudices, like I had to do. I’m a successful businessman with a growing company, happily married for more than 25 years, a nice home and a lifestyle that many would be happy with. And I’m no dumby. And I enthusiastically became an AdvoCare Distributor and Advisor. I plunged into the world of MLM and so far the water’s fine.

Is AdvoCare and specifically direct-selling for you? Well, I would ask that you look at the recent Rookie Bonus earners in AdvoCare and see what a diverse bunch it is, from Orthopedic Surgeons, to stay-at-home moms. Anyone and everyone does this and education or previous high income (or low) have little to do with one’s success with AdvoCare.

Don’t be afraid. Learn for yourself.

Thanks for visiting. Comments are welcome.

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